Monday, 14 December 2015

I think I have reached a new level of tired.

It seems 2015 was the year that whipped past me, hit me in the head with a crowbar and was chuckling as I was left behind to bleed to death. It was the year of introspection and unfortunately a few hard truths had to be digested by my brain.
I am a fan of the term (or used to be): "Everyone has a bit of good within them". It seems that Murphy and a few other characters like Satan has made me re-evaluate what this saying means to me. It now reads: "Everyone has a little good within them... when it suits them and if they need anything from you".
It is sad that I am only realizing it this late in life and I know there are exceptions. But I was a blind fool to believe everyone just had good intentions and life was sunshine and roses. I guess that would be why my previous girlfriend thought it would be fun to leave me 100 grand in debt. It was because I was a gullible, stupid, feet of the ground fool. Ten years later and I am almost done. The last remnants of one account is being paid off. While I am very grateful I was able to do this, albeit over 10 years, I have this deep dark resentment living in my belly. Every now and again it flares into an uncontrollable rage. I nurture the rage because it will ensure I never make that mistake ever again.
People and girlfriends don't always have your best interests at heart. They will break and mould you into which ever version of you they like (and suits them) best. Again there are exceptions. But I am now able to look and mostly identify when I need to exclude a person from my life. Don't be scared to delete people from your life. Everyone is not for you, as you are not for everyone. It does not make you a bad person, it makes you strong enough to realize who to let go.
eople who do not contribute positively can keep left, thanks.
That being said, I am still learning and I hope that whatever life has in store for me, that I am able to buckle up and ride it out like a boss.
And again, if I can ever just give you one tip, never take a loan on your name when your girlfriends credit rating is bad or her salary is not enough. Stand up for yourself even if she calls you a bitch.

1 comment:

  1. I can relate to every single thing you said (except the ex-girlfriend part hehe) and bebe, there is a reason that The University of Life is the most expensive education out there. While trying to drown my sorrows I realised they disappeared for good and my rage floated and I love it! I have no doubt that you will buckle up and ride whatever life throws at you LIKE A BOSS!