Wednesday, 21 September 2016


I never get involved in news, politics or anything like that because it always gives me hives but this whole Pastor Anderson thing had my blood boiling. The arrogance of this man, the hypocrisy, the blatant disregard for human life. I literally can't even. Yes, I said it. I can't even! Amongst other things this giant douche had the gall to call our beloved Archbishop Desmond Tutu 'perverted' and still thought he would be allowed a visa? How very delusional of him. So it was with absolute glee accompanied by a rather stupid happy dance that I saw social media blow up with the news that he was banned from visiting South Africa! A big fat shout out to all my friends in the LGBT community who were relentless in their quest to make sure this asshole never touched down on South African soil. You guys ROCK! 

Artwork by Riaan Jacobs 
My friend Jaco Lourens from Jockstrap posted this picture below on his Facebook page with the following caption and I think it's rather fitting "Oh honey... if you feel the need to advertise your sexuality on a t-shirt, then I think you have something to hide #StevenAnderson ?!"

What a twunt he is... Shame, there must be so many dust bunnies in his closet by now I'm amazed dude can breathe hahahahaha Honestly, I have yet to meet someone so outspokenly homophobic who isn't a closet queen who's well acquainted with glory holes. 

In all seriousness though... We've had problems in this country and awful heinous acts have been committed against the LGBT community. 'Corrective rape' where lesbians have been gang raped and tortured to death. Be-headings of drag queens. Gay bashing. Bullying of young gay people and their subsequent suicides. Just horrible things... So I'm really proud of our Government for banning this man who publicly calls for the execution of gay people. He's the epitome of evil at it's core in my opinion. I've spent more time than I should on Google looking up Pastor Asshole and I'm feeling sick at some of the things I saw that cannot be unseen. One thing I was happy to see is that fag hags are not welcome in his Church either. I would rather staple my eyelids to a table than spend 10 seconds with this psycho and his cult.  How this man, this lay preacher, has such a following literally boggles my brain. Is it all the fracking going on his his neck of the woods? Or generations of inbreeding? Did something heinous happen to him in his childhood to make him so filled with hate? Or has he just found a niche where he can take money from people who can't brain for themselves? I don't know what God he supposedly worships and apparently speaks for but it sure ain't mine. Reading about a lot of his rants I realised that there really is no reasoning with people like him. Whatever his motives may be, I highly doubt they're to save souls. 

Then the Pastor decided he's going to take his soul gathering tour or whatever the fuck he called it to Botswana. Well, Botswana didn't take very long to boot him out of the country:

I Whatsapped my friend Terry Tiger Victor from Drag Queen Headquarters  and said "Quick, most epic gay anthem ever?" and without missing a beat or asking me why he replied with "I will survive". It's the perfect song in my opinion. Even though it's about a lost love the lyrics can be applied to other issues as well. Survival bebe! The attitude being you will never break us, we will always stand up and fight. And be FABULOUS and FIERCE! 

Celebrate the Victory people!!! 

Live well, love much, laugh often and always remember to dance!
GG xoxo 

Friday, 9 September 2016

The 13th Floor. Life Coaching GG Style.

*Disclaimer - I have zero formal training. Unless a Doctorate from the University of Life counts*

A few years ago I was having a natter while driving with my honorary gay son and he told me that I should become a life coach. I was so taken aback that it's a good thing he was driving because I would probably have run us into a ditch. I kept my pose and asked him what on earth would make him say that. His response took me by surprise. He said it was because I helped him come out and I have a way of putting things that gets right to the point without sugarcoating and I call bullshit when I see it. And there I thought I was just a bad tempered auld bitch who is always way too blunt.

Anyway, what he said to me did make me ponder a few things. I've always considered Life Coaching to be the biggest scam out there. You pay a small fortune for someone to tell you how to live your life, usually using advice that is common fucking sense. Of course there must be exceptions but I have only ever met one Life Coach who has got an actual degree and didn't get her training off a website on the internet. In my opinion that book The Secret is no better than any other self help book out there. She has the secret all right, raking in millions off writing something that is filled with.... COMMON SENSE. Another example that irritates the living bejaysus out of me is a family I unfortunately had the displeasure of once knowing. Father's business tanked so he got certified via the internet as a life coach. That's not so bad right? Live and let live and all that shite. But he didn't leave it there. Suddenly dude was training others to be life coaches. His entire extended family are now life coaches who charge a LOT of money for their particular brand of wisdom. My personal favourite being his son who's balls hadn't even dropped properly yet, how is anyone supposed to take someone so young seriously as a life coach? Funny thing about all this is that I know exactly just how dysfunctional this family is but looking at their social media pages etc you would be excused for thinking that everything is just hunky-fucking-dory. Father is also a Life Coach at a private school where he teaches children under 12. The very thought of that makes me shudder. Who does background checks on people who work with children? Who is in charge? Who's head is going to roll when it turns into a giant clusterfuck? Someone seriously dropped the ball in this case...

So yeah, that brings me to how I personally deal with issues. It may not be to everyone's taste but it certainly works for me. It's no secret that I also come from a rather dysfunctional family and it's quite frankly a fucking miracle that I am a contributing member of society who's been happily married to the man I met when I was 13 for almost 3 decades. My issues aren't with my own little tribe, they're with others. Blood relatives and friends who I called family. People I trusted. People I would do anything for. People who turned on me, betrayed me and were then surprised when I didn't want them in my life anymore. Why the fuck would I want people I can't trust in my life? I may have become a bitch but I'm not insane. And don't even get me started on the whole forgiveness thing. To me forgiveness means letting people back into your life and there are certain individuals that will be back in my life the day I win a gold medal as an Olympic gymnast. That doesn't mean I harbor resentment, I've come to the realisation that people can't help their inherent natures and if I am angry at anyone then it's myself for not seeing through the bullshit earlier. #LoyaltyFail 

I know it's important to always keep moving forward and dwelling on the past prevents one from doing that so I don't dwell. Ever. When there is something that keeps trying to burrow it's way back into my consciousness I delegate it to what I call my 13th Floor. A place I will visit one day. Or not.  My 13th Floor is like a lot of hotels in Canada, they don't have one! It's there but it's not there. Of course there are people who get something good out of therapy and there's nothing wrong with that but personally I can't see how picking at things that happened in the past can possibly make me feel better. The only hold the past has on me is how I react to certain situations and when my knee jerk is something I'm not proud of then I make an effort to change the way I think about things. My favourite form of therapy is having a few drinks with someone I trust and having a good natter anyway. 

As humans we all have a tendency to worry too much about other people who actually have no real impact on our lives and that brings me to what is still one of my favourite lessons ever. I have mentioned it before but it needs to be in this piece. Whenever I talk to my friend Black Sam and ask him how he's doing his response is always this: "Life is good thanks Mami, my wife and children still smile when they see me so life is good." See? At the end of the day only those who are under your roof are the ones who should matter most. As long as you're happy in your own home life is good. And if you're not? Then do something about it!  

Live well, love much, laugh often and always remember to dance!
G xoxo 

This song has been stuck in my head for days and I think it may have inspired this post which is VERY different from my usual shit hahaha

Thursday, 8 September 2016

Dear Pastor Anderson

With all your hate filled views:
I don't condone violence but gays should be executed
 and your wife calling all Africans animals:
Wife of homophobic US pastor slams SA blogger over IVF
 why on earth are you so determined to visit a country you are not welcome in? Maybe you should both get one of these to shut you the fuck up.